How to deal with insecurities.

There will always be someone prettier, skinnier, funnier, smarter, or wealthier. That’s the truth.

For a long time. I would add up my qualities, and compare them to the qualities of others. Usually, I would come up short. I would always miss the mark when it came to “good enough” in my own head. And it shouldn’t be that way. One girl should not feel the need to compare herself to another girl. Ever. We should not strive to look, or be, a certain way. We will only look one way; the way that we are.

So why do we continue to obsess to be more than what we are? Or wait for someone else’s approval? Why do have this urgency to fit in, and stand out all at once? It’s contradicting. It’s exhausting.

Instead. I add up the good qualities of my friends. And I don’t strive to be like them, but I admire them for what they are. Who they are. I admire their strength, their beauty, and their uniqueness. And then I try not to forget my own strengths, beauty, and uniqueness. Because comparing yourself to someone else, you will always come up short. But to admire someone for who they are, and still love yourself, you will feel so full.

Happiness is what everyone wants. So be happy for your friends, your neighbors, and strangers. Learn that their life does not define your own. It never did. Even when you felt like it did. And don’t be afraid to tell them what you are happy about. Because success in your life should be shared, not bragged about, but shared with the ones you love. Because they should love you enough to be happy for your success as well. And if they aren’t, don’t hold it against them. Understand they just might be comparing things in their head, and feel a little less than. 

Feeling insecure isn’t something you can fix for someone. It isn’t something someone can fix for you. Insecurities have to be fixed by the person that has them. Only they can control how they feel about themself. Until they take that power of approval from everyone else, they will never feel like they are enough. 

And the truth is, some people just aren’t going to like you. That’s the way it works. Some people hate the taste of chocolate. Some people love chocolate. Just because someone doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean it’s you. Sometimes it’s just their taste.

If you don’t like me, well I’m sorry you have bad taste.

Give yourself the approval you deserve. Because you are enough. 

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